they say... "timing is everything"

Lemme start by hypothetically asking........... is it so wrong to want to be in control of most things in your life???

Lately i been goin thru the motions with this dilemma, thats not quite a dilemma... its bothering the shit outta me because i hate not feelin like im in control of situations... and i definately lost control of this one. (or at least it feels like it)

My situation is ive been on my "i wanna be single hype" since my last relationship(of 5 years) and during that time and now i met somebody that I ended up feelin in every aspect... mentally, physically, sexually, and more... we met, we hit it off, and everything took its course but instead of jus committing when the time was right i chose to keep this person at a distance when they wanted (and deserved) to be let into my personal space that I try so hard to guard. Its been well over two years now and i finally want that person to occupy that space...

During this 2 year period this person has voiced the fact that they wanted more from me and I declined to open up and just accept what they have to offer because in my heart and mind the timing wasnt right for me...

... but guess what?... time has a funny way of working because NOW i want that person to occupy that space and the timing isnt right for them(at least thats what i think, and hope is the deal and nothing more)... so with that said i feel like i no longer have control over this but shit i dont even think that should be what i should be worrying about, but i guess thats jus me!

So lately ive been torn between the two thoughts of:

1. Shoud I just move on(even tho i dont want to) and keep this person as a friend if thats even possible. I honestly dont even know what this persons interest level is at this point cuz i can no longer read this person... but if i choose this option it doesnt even matter.

OR

2. Jus wait it out and until the time is right with this person, but this option can set me up for a dead end situation, but has the potential to work out how i'd like it to.

At this point in time I find myself trying to go out with some female acquaintences to fill the void for but it honestly jus bores me and sometimes i feel like its a waste of my time cuz I already know what i want.

All and all... im a firm believer in everything happens for a reason so i'll jus see what happens, cuz I guess i cant control everything!