they say... "i SEE why!"...

At this point in time i can say i see why n*ggas be goin all bad and robbin' folks... i mean i aint gon' do it *side grin*... but at this point my financial situation is fucked up right now, i try to keep a level head about it BUT the fact that the economy is is bent over a table gettin the business right now doesnt promise that i'll find another job anytime soon.

Lately ive had these odd thought and dreams of me taking what i want and/or dont have i.e. .....
(get rich or die tryin)... lmao!...

What is the average person to do when the economy is how it is... i mean i could get a job at a fast food place *blinking blankly*.... but fuck that i do have standards (not to down any1 who does)... but i aint doin that shit.

anyway this is jus somethin that was on my mind to let all the stick-up-kids who read my blog know that I UNDERSTAND.................................. *thinking*... do stick-up-kids blog???... hahaha... i mean they would have an interesting ass blog

they say... "are u SERIOUS?"

I havent chose to post anything personal in months when i realized certain people were spying on my blog(fuck em its my life and any outsider who reads this and feels a certain way, live with it but dont ever, ever, ever bring any of my blog postings up)... but in not doing so ive been the one suffering because serious things have been on my mind and heart the past few months... this is my oath to myself and my readers (who respond)... i will express myself because its therapeutic and necessary for me to get these things off my chest...

starting with this... because of my most recent situation a certain song has been in my head like fuckin crazy... and the oddest part is im really not all that into R&B music but i had heard this song 1 time when EB posted it... and it jus came outta nowhere and i feel like it fits how i feel... corny as fuck i know BUT... it... is... what it... fuckin'... IS!!!

Jasmine Sullivan- Lions, Tigers, and Bears



chorus:
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears/
(No I'm not)...
But I'm scared of... loving you/
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair/
(That's right)...
But I'm scared of loving you/
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task/
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?/
Why do we love, love?..... when love seems to hate us?/

2nd verse:
Most circumstances I know my fate/
But in this love thang, I don't get the game/
Why does it feel like those who give in/
They only wind up losing a friend/

Just cause I love you and you love me/
It doesn't mean that we'll ever be/
Fly cross the ocean, sing for the queen/
But the most frightening thing is you and me/
----------------------------------------

This part stands out because im finally coming to grips with the harsh reality that i do have a COMMITMENT ISSUE/PROBLEM... i know what i want but i continuously run away from it because im not ready to let down my guard completely, and be with one person EVEN when they treat me how i want to be treated and/or love me how i want to be loved. I have no clue what this stems from or why it is.

Its frustrating and scary to know im 26 and i cant carry out a monogamous relationship, and the last time was the final straw which proved to me that ITS ME thats the problem. In these situations i end up losing friends i care about because i go to that level and in the end i cant/dont commit.

if ur reading this u prolly think its not big a deal and every1 goes thru some type of trouble with the heart when making choices and decisions BUT this shit is soooo hard at this point and i dont know what to do.

*DAMN THIS IS HARD*



*i guess i'll go to sleep now, since the sun is up *shakin' head*

they say... "it LOOKS like i stepped out of a TIME MACHINE"

MNy aunt had a 70's part recently and me and a few friends and fam attended... it was a breath of fresh air, one of those times u wish u were actually alive in the 70's...

im hella last minute so i wasnt gonna dress then it hit me i could just got to my grandparents house and see what my grandfathers old clothes (R.I.P. PAPPY)... turned out to be a great fuckin idea... so here is the finish result...



damn lil d, u got a burt out ass perm bra... hahahaha!

IMO and after careful evaluation i look like a UPS worker, *lmfao*... then at second glance i look like anthony hamilton with that damn beard and that hat...

so when i get to the party i see Smitty wit his get up on and its hilarious cuz the fro-wig he has looks hella real...



dont he look like a militant brotha ready to start the revolution???... lmao!

so later on the night i tried it on... we took hella pics...


hmmmm... i think she likes it!

a 70's super star

i see u smitty, lmao... the guitarist

HAPPY BDAY AUNTY ROBIN...






contest winners!


pimpin pimpin!


even the babies were their in character

they say... "it's just MYSPACE"...

Actually i feel like im the only 1 who thinks that... i have a page just like the other trillion people on this planet and the next BUT im starting to think people 4get that (in my opinion) myspace is not real "physical" life. Lately myspace has irritated me beyond my normal tolerance...

when i change my mood... i have to hear some shit about that, its a mood sometimes there not an exact reason for a mood or there are a number of things to add up to me feeling like that... none the less ITS A FUCKING MOOD, and more importantly ITS JUST FUCKING MYSPACE!!!... i wonder if i can take that off all together... i'll check it out...

next on the menu is something i dont really mind to a certain extent... and thats people who go on other people page just to see whats in their comments or to see what their picture comments say... are u serious!... u cant ever be that bored... BUT the icing on the cake is when they feel they can approach you via text,phone, or in person about what they read... get over it!...

the he say she say has gotta stop i thought u had to be over 14 or 15 to get on myspace anyway, okay so act like it...

right now i feel like erasing my shit but i know i'll regret that later... but it justr amazes me how so many people are so focused on this shit that let it affect how they feel, what they think, and who they are in their real life...

im guess im done venting... for now... and i have obviously just gave myspace more meaning (than it derserves) by even posting this but FUCK IT its how i feel!


ps. what would hapopen if when every1 went to log on 2morrow morning myspace no longer existed?... hmmmm... think about it!

and in light of it all... hahahahahahaha!