they say... "are u SERIOUS?"

I havent chose to post anything personal in months when i realized certain people were spying on my blog(fuck em its my life and any outsider who reads this and feels a certain way, live with it but dont ever, ever, ever bring any of my blog postings up)... but in not doing so ive been the one suffering because serious things have been on my mind and heart the past few months... this is my oath to myself and my readers (who respond)... i will express myself because its therapeutic and necessary for me to get these things off my chest...

starting with this... because of my most recent situation a certain song has been in my head like fuckin crazy... and the oddest part is im really not all that into R&B music but i had heard this song 1 time when EB posted it... and it jus came outta nowhere and i feel like it fits how i feel... corny as fuck i know BUT... it... is... what it... fuckin'... IS!!!

Jasmine Sullivan- Lions, Tigers, and Bears



chorus:
I'm not scared of lions and tigers and bears/
(No I'm not)...
But I'm scared of... loving you/
I'm not scared to perform at a sold out affair/
(That's right)...
But I'm scared of loving you/
Am I the only one who thinks it's an impossible task/
Why it don't last? Is that too much to ask?/
Why do we love, love?..... when love seems to hate us?/

2nd verse:
Most circumstances I know my fate/
But in this love thang, I don't get the game/
Why does it feel like those who give in/
They only wind up losing a friend/

Just cause I love you and you love me/
It doesn't mean that we'll ever be/
Fly cross the ocean, sing for the queen/
But the most frightening thing is you and me/
----------------------------------------

This part stands out because im finally coming to grips with the harsh reality that i do have a COMMITMENT ISSUE/PROBLEM... i know what i want but i continuously run away from it because im not ready to let down my guard completely, and be with one person EVEN when they treat me how i want to be treated and/or love me how i want to be loved. I have no clue what this stems from or why it is.

Its frustrating and scary to know im 26 and i cant carry out a monogamous relationship, and the last time was the final straw which proved to me that ITS ME thats the problem. In these situations i end up losing friends i care about because i go to that level and in the end i cant/dont commit.

if ur reading this u prolly think its not big a deal and every1 goes thru some type of trouble with the heart when making choices and decisions BUT this shit is soooo hard at this point and i dont know what to do.

*DAMN THIS IS HARD*



*i guess i'll go to sleep now, since the sun is up *shakin' head*

they say... "I'm a BIG KID!"

When it comes to this topic im such an 80'S BABY... i swear!... i luv NINTENDO and everything about it.

Sooooo.... 2day i was on the net and i seen this...


MAAAAAAN!... I SWEAR I WANT 1!!!... im about to look and see if i can find 1 on Ebay!...


I'm such a Nintendo kid... i collect Nintendo stuff and i seen a few things i wanna add to the collection...

like the NIntendo controller i pod shuffle...


and the Nintendo iPhone... helllla tight!...


orrr the Nintendo belt...


oh snap!... Nintendo Chucks...


or how about the Super Nintendo Naked White Chick...


BUT ummmmmmmmm... this is some Nintendo shit i can do without! *shakin' head*... hahahahaha!... lmao!...


Anyway... who remembers this shit... wasnt this game the shit!...

they say... "MI casa es SU casa"

well i finally got back to my postin this weekend cuz its ugly durin the week as far as posting...

i also finally got the chance to add some of u to my BLOG ROLL... so WELCOME... so now i can stop blog stalkin' some of u, haha!

MUZE... welcome to my blogroll cuz ur soooo fuckin fly! (need i say more)

TOM_GURL... welcome to my blogroll im such a loser for waitin this long to add you... u've been holdin it down in my spot... oh yea, and the layout is niiiice... i luv floetry!

DEJANAE... welcome to my blogroll and u have the most eye catching profile photo, (me bein the perv i am) was like, "wait, is that a thong"... hahaha... but ur fully dressed and @ least i tricked myself into some good readin'

THE FLYYEST... welcome to my blogroll... anybody who needs two "Y's" to define their FLY has to be on my blogroll... im feelin ya blog... whats the weather like in Seattle?

(ps) shout out to the thiz face u and the baby got goin on

BRITTANY_83... welcome to my blogroll i read ur last 3 blogs and for some reason they got me... i like, i like... hope to see u here more often!

AND I AINT 4GOT ABOUT ALL MY OTHER BLOGGIES... IM STILL TRANNA HOLD IT DOWN AND POST EVEN THO "THE MAN" IS HATIN...LOL...

they say... "EVERY1 is UNIQUE in their own way"

I was fishin around on KANYE's blog and I seen this interesting post about these 5 people in NY who only wear 1 color all day every day...

***CLICK HERE TO READ***

So my question is... if u had ro wear 1 color for a full year... no loopholes what color would you choose?




I'd choose blue or black... okay... black... cuz u can wear it hella different ways... I mean even in the summer I usually wear black wife beater so I think I could pull it off.

they say... "dont CHEAT yaself, TREAT yaself"

I attended a wedding on Saturday... prior to, i already knew i wanted to wear a suit but there was no way i was wearing my same-ol lame ass black suit. so for the last 3 weeks i've been keepin' my eyes open for suits... well i came across this gray SEAN JOHN suit and it was a wrap i was on some crazy woman type "i gotta have it type shit"...

Annnnnnnd then i looked at the price tag!

okay it wasnt that much but its more than i've ever paid for an article of clothing at one time!

the suit was $500 (but of course i payed slightly less 400 + the shoes)... might not be alot to some of u ballin bloggers but thats crazy to me... now god bless the fact that i have these 2 new jobs and i was even able to consider doin this... but after i bought this shit i felt guilty and couldnt figure out why?... and still cant!

but shit once i put the motha-f*cka on (U SHOULDA SEEN IT!)... i was fly as a pelican and fresh as a manikin... (at least thats how i felt anyway)...

it made me really like the color gray... and i had the shoes to match and i pretty much thought i was the shit... now if i can just find 499 more reasons to wear this shit again maybe i wont feel so funny about it...

I am officially admitting i have a retail problem...

HI MY NAME IS MR. SWEETWYNE...
hi Mr. Sweetwyne...
AND IM A SHOP-AHOLIC